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yo yo yo wuz up? [Jan. 17th, 2006|05:22 pm]
ooh la la
[mood |chipperchipper]
[music |this asshole next to me who doesn't know how to type.]

today is the greatest day i've ever known... i have no idea why smashing pumpkins is in my head. i don't even know if those are the proper words or not. oh well. i have 13 minutes left of internet usage and i can't think of what else i wanted to do online.... oh well. I just saw an icelandic movie the other day. it was good. Thea got punched in the face by a ten year old. that was bad. i am oblivious to most everything around me. that's ok. i'm going to a gay bar tonight. that is good. the jukebox is free. that's extra good. i found pot. that's really really good. i'm going to go home and listen to the new hooverphonic album and get high. it will be great. maybe i'll work a little on my contented exotic bird picture as well. hmmm....
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Glad. [Dec. 27th, 2005|07:56 pm]
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I'm glad. Glad that hailey's here. glad that i definitely now know that i don't like that dude. glad the internet cafe isn't playing crappy music right now. glad i'm ending this entry so i can stop putting glad at the front of every sentence.
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bad tunes [Dec. 23rd, 2005|01:42 pm]
ooh la la
[mood |blankblank]
[music |bad stuff....]

the internet cafe plays either really depressing or really bad music... it affects my mental well-being. Especially when they play celine dion, "i swear" by boyz2men, and toni braxton all in the same sitting. not a good situation.... sometimes they do play the velvet underground though. that's always good.
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Hmmm.... [Dec. 19th, 2005|04:48 pm]
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I don't like dating people. I think i'm going to be single for most of my life. There will be a couple of lasting relationships that will probably last about a few months, maybe even one that lasts up to five years... but I will remain single for the most part I think. I'm perfectly fine with that. I don't need it in my life right now. aw... the unpredictability of it all.

I definitely do not want to date anybody who is much older than me and constantly accentuates the fact of our age difference. I always thought that age doesn't really matter to me... and it doesn't... but i don't want to have a more than one time sexual relationship with anyone with anyone much older or younger than me. Partially because i'm not a pedophile and partially because many old people are just too old physically and mentally to be someone i'm attracted to in that way. I like hanging out with people much older than me... just not screwing around with them.

I want to live in the middle of nowhere by the time i'm 32 and just relax and enjoy life... and not have to worry about money. I'm not sure how i'm going to work it out... but i guess the easiest way is to be ridiculously rich. Not sure if that's going to happen though.... i should be rich though. I'd be very giving and maybe be like Paul Newman and give all my profits to charity and stuff.

See... i've met this fellow, who's 33... not that old really, but in the way he acts, he's constantly reminding me and himself of our age difference... and it annoys the hell out of me. he seems to be really into me and i'm not sure how to get rid of him without hurting his feelings too badly. he's very nice, and i really do enjoy hanging out with him... but he could look better naked, kiss better, and have a better penis... and not be so weird. I know it sounds really superficial of me to be saying such things... but i just use physical attributes as an excuse for all the non-physical things i don't like. i don't like his smell as much as i would like to either. we're just not that attracted to eachother, but he seems to think we are... i'm rambling a lot and i'm sure none of this makes sense to anyone.... oh well... i don't care... i feel like there are these two levels to sexual attraction which i really don't know how to explain. one is the level of what your brain and eyes thinks is attractive... and the other is what your heart finds attractive. this is beginning to sound stupid. i don't have the right words to express my thoughts. i hate the use of the word 'heart'... it's so dumb. there should be another word for it.
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woah! [Jun. 30th, 2005|11:32 pm]
ooh la la
[mood |anxiousanxious]
[music |hooverphonic presents jackie cane]

i'm in a weird transitional period... the first big step was eric leaving, which made me realize that everything is changing. we're never going to walk to the shamcock together again from our houses. last night i went out and just ended up crying because i was feeling so nostalgic and was a little drunk as well... tyson was so amazing and sweet and said all the right things and made me feel good. i've been blessed with really great friends. i wouldn't be anywhere emotionally without them since my family's so emotionally constipated. it's exciting to be done with my college life. i feel like eric leaving was the main turning point... he's the only one i partied with compulsively. i'm glad we'll be seeing him in september.

my cousin just added me on friendster and she is seriously the coolest 16 year old ever. she just seems so "with it". i'm kind of jealous. At the same time i can't help but feel a great part responsible for her coolness since half of the bands she lists as liking were introduced to her by me and she moderately idolized me in her younger years. we spent so much time together when we were younger and now i haven't seen her in six months and before that, it was another six. craziness.

yay scotland!!!!!!

meanwhile, terrence is being an asshole again. well, maybe not... he's got a lot of issues he needs to deal with right now.

my internet service is being such a bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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skin [Jun. 2nd, 2005|10:46 am]
ooh la la
[mood |annoyedannoyed]
[music |Goldfrapp]

i seem to be very susceptible to weird rashes and stuff. i now have some weird thing on my chin that is multiplying incremently each day... well except for yesterday, but that's because i got a cream and antibiotics for it. antibiotics are gross. in the past seven months, I've had 4 different weird skin problems, first there were weird wart-like things all over my chin... then there was this rash on my upper torso and then there was this crap on my toes and ass that probably could have been eczema... and now this repulsive thing on my chin. maybe i need to start using more moisturizer and get a dermatologist that knows what he/she is talking about... maybe i have some weird disease like leprosy that will leave me skinless and broke in a year... hmmm.... oh well... i guess that's life.
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masturabation, mojitos, & skunks [May. 26th, 2005|02:12 am]
ooh la la
[mood |contentcontent]
[music |Ladytron - Another Breakfast With You]

today was crazy. i had an impromptu party last night that was very successful for not really expecting to have a party... i woke up early and masturbated twice within an hour and a half... that was fun. i usually don't masturbate that often... well i mean every other day or so is usual... but twice in a morning is slightly out of the ordinary. it was fun though (of course)... i think the fact that no roommates are here may have made the jerking off more desirable, seeing as there was no need to be quiet about it. later on i took a nap and had some mojitos and hung out with eric a wee bit. i'm going to miss him when he moves... but i'm going to visit him and he's going to visit me and it will be fun. we went to a party at the house of some mutual friends of ours that he seems to see more often than i do now... which is weird... but i'm perfectly fine with it. there was a baby ferret there named Cornelius... we bonded. I like animals. i really want to have a pet skunk some day... but i think i would only really enjoy it if it were a skunk that were really sick or one that was already descended from a lineage of domesticity. Otherwise, i would just feel so bad about taking a skunk out of its natural habitat. i like skunks, they're so cute and scoially disturbing... but they can get de-scented and they're just such a beautifully docile creature. they're the type of animal you can run into in the woods and the skunk will just be like "hey, i'm here... you're here.... don't disturb me, and i won't spray you". i also kind of like the smell of skunk. that's just weird though.
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House of Wax [May. 17th, 2005|12:57 am]
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[mood |contemplativecontemplative]
[music |Husky Rescue]

Really cheesy, terrible, movies can be fun sometimes. but really good ones are better.

Everybody around me is getting twitterpated. It's interesting... even i am.. i guess... to an extent... whatever. i'm not sure if i like him that much, but it's kind of cool cuz i'm not sure how much he really likes me. it's a mutual "uh... whatever" kind of feel. i wouldn't care if he found someone better for him than me... and i don't think he'd really care if i told him i found a boy who i like more than him. i'm beginning to see the point of dating someone when you're not really that "into" them... it's like practice for when you find somebody you do really like so that you're not all dumb once you do find someone you really do like. (it's kind of like using people, but, really, what else are people good for? it's impossible to even talk to somebody without using them.) i don't really like anyone though... and with those that i do, it just seems so difficult. i'm all about simplicity. it's probably because i have problems grappling with honesty in the emotional sense sometimes and it's much easier to be with someone who i don't really like that much because i don't care and therefore they don't care. it's easier to flirt with people i don't really like, emotionally, because i won't be offended if there's a chance of them turning me down... i would just be like "oh, whatever" and get over it instantaneously. i do know what i like in a person, and i do know people that satisfy aspects of that, and they may also see complimentary characteristics in myself, so maybe i should just stop being so dumb.
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i have a cold [May. 12th, 2005|12:47 am]
ooh la la
[mood |indescribable]
[music |Josephine Baker - Ram pam pam]

having a cold sucks. there's too much snot flowing out of my nose right now for me to think straight.

i just went out with Eric & Thea cuz we had our last classes today... it was alright, but I wish i hadn't ditched abbie, but whatever... it wasn't purposeful ;). I just got my graduation gown today and somehow, one thing led to another, and thea and i were both in our gowns looking in the mirror and going on about how ridiculous they look.... they're so weird... we're so weird for dressing up in them and looking at ourselves in the mirror. Kuzma and I came up with the idea that the hats are made to look like books on your head and the tassle is like a bookmark and when you turn it to the other side, it's like going to the end of the book... i think that sounds good. it may be the real reason, it's just stupid and simple enough to be the actual reason behind the stooopid costumes. I don't like how they look like i'm wearing a plastic garbage bag... i guess i only have to wear it for a little while though... they don't seem to size them by weight, just height, so that if you're 500lbs and 6'1" or 155lbs and 6'1" you get the same thing.

i want to do something important some day... i think i will. graduating is weird.

ooh! i've been listening to josephine baker lately and thought i would look her up and find out about her a little more and she is reeeally cool. she has just such an intersting story, being born in america black and succeeding beginning in the 1920s as a performer and using her fame and ability to travel due to her famousness to fight against the nazis as part of the french resistance during wwII and adopting 12 children of different races who she called her "rainbow tribe". she just seems like such an amazing woman... it makes me want to weep... (as many things do)

this damn livejournal thing... i never know when to stop.

i like rainstorms and cuddling and future meteorologists.
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(no subject) [May. 4th, 2005|03:37 am]
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i feel bad for getting so worked up... she can't help her emotional problems... and probably doesn't remember what she said to me anyway. i'd be fine if she just apologized, cuz i understand her craziness. i'll call her in a week. we both need time.
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